It is nearly 3:00 a.m. this Friday morning and our vigil for Kathy peacefully continues on. After a rough day yesterday when respiratory issues raised their (inevitable) ugly heads, we tinkered with K's meds and got things back under relative control--relative that is because there is no doubt as to her residual departure.
In all my now 68 years I have never done anything so difficult as witnessing this now long goodbye. Imagine having guests that you would never see or be around again departing on your doorstep and having that departure taking now five days--that's kinda what this is like but the departure dialogue is but one-sided, with K comatose the entire time.
That being said, I have never been one to sit around and mope, witness yesterday afternoon while reading "Winnie The Pooh" to K (earlier that day having finished our aloud revisitation of "The Wind in the Willows") when in comes Mary the St Pats' resident folk harpist and, purely impromptu, we spent the next hour together, I reading to K of Pooh and Piglet's great adventure hunting for Heffalumps and Mary following in cantation with the strings of her harp. Not only was it a moving experience for all three of us but it also provided for an "inning" for Kathy, as bedridden terminal patients certainly can't have "outings"!
So the vigil for the inevitable goes stably onward. Kathy and I continue to be moved by your kind messages, prayers and Kandle Power--her www.kandlesforkathy.blogspot.com is truly something to behold. Emanating through those wonderful acts of kindness, by way of example, was an email message from my good South Carolina friend Mark Zion, who, upon learning of my intent to read to Kathy of the great Willows ventures of the Rat, the Mole, the Otter and the Toad, directed me to the apparition passage finding Rat and Mole afloat in search of Otter's then lost son, when Rat exclaims: "O Mole! The beauty of it! The merry bubble and joy, the thin, clear, happy call of the distant piping! Such music I never dreamed of, and the call in it is stronger even than the music is sweet! Row on, Mole, row! For the music and the call must be for us."
I read this passage to Kathy three times yesterday when, during the course of the day, things looked most dim; it helped us both...thanks, pal.
So the watch continues and, as I mentioned yesterday, K is yet having a(nother) comfortable inning's stay here in Missoula, Montana, where the outside temperature has been dipping into the teens but where, inside, things are fireplace warm.
Thanks again to all of you for your most welcome outpouring of love to a most beautiful and deserving recipient--our Hostess With The Mostess.
Ron
Friday, January 23, 2015
from Julie
With admiration full, moments of love never dull, being a twin is a bond beyond compare.
If I could only use 3 words to describe my sister it would be beautiful, devoted, and generous. She embodied all that I was not. She wore her heart on her sleeve and loved all unconditionally. She was completely devoted to my children, Jenny and Sam, loving them as her own. Were I have always been the “leader of the pack” protecting the both of us from all harm; being open and accepting of her emotions were second nature to Kathy.
To know a twin is to love one soul in two bodies. We share everything! The bond of sisters can be such a defining part of one’s life, as I’ve witnessed with my own girls, but nothing can compare to the bond that a set of twins share. It’s so much more then looking identical, or sharing DNA, but an unspoken, unspoiled, and unconditional bond. Kathy was my everything as I was hers. From the very beginning she was the center of my universe. Mom would often say she had 5 kids and twins, as we were one. We were attached at the hip doing all and everything together. From picking on our younger brother Ralph, plotting and scheming ways to get rid of him. Nevertheless, our failed efforts prevailed and we grew to love and adore him as our own baby. Modeling in fashion shows in Winter Park, taking dance together (and to our mother’s dismay we weren’t interested in), to being known in the Winter Park/Maitland area as “The Baker Twins” again as one. We even shared our first wedding together.
I truly believe God know we would bring more love, joy, laughs, and memories as two people with one soul instead of one, so he made us twins. I love you like crazy and will miss you every single second of every single day until the day comes that we will be together again. But I wouldn’t change one thing that transpired over the past 62 years. Time, distance, words, and people can never break the love we share between each other. I vow to live out the rest of my life honoring you and all that you were.
Until we meet again......
Julie
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